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Secrets to Help Children Cope With Disappointment

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By: Suzie Dalien, M.Ed.

Teenage boy holding his head from frustration with text overlay Secrets To Help Children Cope With Disappointment

Yesterday, was a typical day. We got home at a reasonable time, and as usual, my daughter raced to the back yard to play with her pet rabbit.

 

However, she returned just a few minutes later very upset and crying. It took me a few minutes to understand through her uncontrollable sobs.

 

Her seven-year-old pet rabbit had died. My daughter was heartbroken.

 

Nothing that I could say could make her feel better or console her. This is the worst feeling as a parent.

 

As her mom, I always want to make everything better. I never want my daughter to experience pain or disappointment.

 

But, this is not realistic. Pain and disappointment are a part of life. It is my job as her mom to help her learn how to deal with these disappointments and move on with life.

 

Secrets to Help Children Cope With Disappointment 

What kinds of disappointments will your child encounter? Unfortunately way too many than we can shield them from. Keep in mind all children are different. Some children may be more sensitive to situations than others.

 

Common Disappointments Could Include:

  • Death of a loved one or pet
  • Losing a soccer game
  • Misplacing a security blanket
  • Understanding when a friend moves away
  • Calming down after a disagreement.

There are many other disappointments your child could be sensitive to so keep an eye and ear out for her responses.

Not all children will let you know how they are feeling and may appear to be acting out for no reason. Handling behavior issues at home and/or at school come down to how you react.

 

Here are 3 Ways to Help Your Child Cope With Disappointment 

1. Help your child understand that his or her feelings are real.

    • Your child’s feelings are essential, and they have value. Sometimes, I get busy, and I don’t always give enough attention to situations my children are going through because they don’t still seem like a big deal to me.
    • For example, my daughter was describing a silly argument she had with a friend. I brushed it off, but she was devastated!
    • Even the little things are big things sometimes to kids. So, acknowledge your child’s feelings, no matter what they are. Their feelings are real.  

2. Help your child express his or her feelings.

    • This could be through words, art, journaling, and more.
    • My daughter is very artistic. Last night, she spent time drawing pictures of her beloved rabbit and talking to me about the good times she had with her.
    • We looked at old photos of her and her rabbit.
    • This helped her deal with her pain. 
    • Try these coping tools for self-regulation 

3. Help your child move on

    • It is ok to feel hurt at times. It’s only human.
    • It is ok to wallow even, every once in a while.
    • However, it is not ok to stay in that state forever.
    • Help your child have closure on whatever situation they are dealing with, and then help them move on with life.
    • I am helping my daughter create a memorial for our pet, and then I will do my best to help her move on.  

 

Whatever disappointment your child is dealing with, I hope these strategies help you to walk with them through it. Also, remember children learn how to deal with things at different ages. So, don’t try to rush them all at one time.

 

If a disappointment leads to a setback in their education… we offer one-on-one special education tutoring that can be done from anywhere you are! Why? Because our special education experts conduct their sessions online!

Get started with a free consultation!

 

Teen boy holding his head with frustration with text overlay Secrets To Help Children Cope With Disappointment

As parents, we are instinctively protective of our children. But pain and disappointment are inevitable in their lives. Here are strategies to help children cope with disappointment in a way that they will learn from and be able to progress on with life.



This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 13th, 2019 at 7:04 pm and is filed under Communication and tagged as , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

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14 Responses to Secrets to Help Children Cope With Disappointment

  • Mckenna says:

    Great resource!

  • Dawn says:

    Is the death of a pet disappointment or grief? Genuinely asking. I experience that more as grief.

    • Suzie Dalien, M.Ed. says:

      Dawn… I agree that could point more toward grief. However, both are VERY similar in nature from what I’ve witnessed working with my children and others.

  • Stacy Roman says:

    It is heart breaking to see your child disappointed but I think it is definitely something that has been lacking I. Today’s world .its something they need to learn to cope in life.Thank you for the post

  • Beth says:

    We never want our children to experience disappointment and pain but it is such a necessary lesson to learn. They’ll experience it over and over. These are great tips!

  • Disappointments are hard for everyone. And it is very important to help children cope with life’s shortcomings. Definitely acknowledging their feelings and giving them a healthy way to process their feelings is very important.

  • Jennifer Maune says:

    This is such a great post. It really is hard to help your child work through disappointment. Validating their feelings is a great first step!

    -Jennifer

  • Amber Hurley says:

    I love this because even children no matter how small have the deepest and hardest feelings.

  • Shayla Marie says:

    These are helpful tips to help kids with disappointment. I love your personable writing style by the way. New fan here!

  • Krystal Miller says:

    This is so helpful. I’m bookmarking this for our next big disappointment!

  • Flossie McCowald says:

    These are such great tips all around! I think I am sometimes too quick to try to problem-solve (it’s my nature), and this often feels to my girls as if I am brushing them off/not taking their concerns seriously when they are really upset about something. I often need to remind myself to just be there/be supportive and let them sit with those feelings.

  • Sarah says:

    Helping kids learn to express their feelings in a productive manner is so important and well help them throughout their life.

  • Jennifer Maune says:

    These are all great tips! Making sure your child knows that their feelings are valid is a great first step!

    -Jennifer

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