Unfortunately, burnout happens quickly. As a parent, you’re desperate for a behavior to stop. Sometimes, giving in feels like the only option. You might not even realize you’re doing it, but it’s a common trap. 

No judging. We’ve all been there.

But what if you could permanently reduce those unwanted behaviors? What if you could regain control of your household?

Today, we start our journey towards forever eliminating unwanted behaviors. Sound impossible? It’s not!

We will start with understanding the ABCs of behavior using ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) principles, making it straightforward and easy to implement.

For more detailed information on ABA, take a look at What is ABA or Applied Behavior Analysis?

What are the ABCs of Behavior?

ABC is an acronym for

• Antecedent
• Behavior
• Consequence

You have probably heard of behavior and consequences. However, they are used slightly differently than what you are used to. 

What is an Antecedent?

The term antecedent might be new to you. The Oxford Dictionary defines an antecedent as “A thing or event that existed before or logically precedes another.”

In simpler terms, when we’re talking about the ABCs of behavior, an antecedent is what your child did before the behavior began. It’s the trigger, the setup, the thing that happened right before the action.

Here are some examples of antecedents:

• Being asked to do something, like clean their room.
• Being asked to go somewhere, like the grocery store.
• Being denied attention, like when you’re on the phone.
• Being denied access to a desired item, like a toy or a snack.

It’s important to understand that all new teachings happen in the antecedent. This is where you can set the stage for success.

An Example Scenario

Let’s walk through a scenario that probably sounds familiar. This will help you see the ABCs in action.

Mom is busy at the kitchen table, sorting through the weekly mail. Johnny walks in with a package of cookies. He calmly says, “I want a cookie.” Mom, a little annoyed because she’s trying to focus, looks up and says, “Not right now.”

Johnny pushes the cookies closer to Mom’s face and repeats, “I want a cookie, now!” Mom, getting more frustrated, says sternly, “I said not now!”

Johnny doesn’t like that answer. He starts stomping his feet, screaming, and throwing a tantrum: “I want a cookie! I want a cookie!”

Finally, Mom gives in. “Fine,” she says, “but just one because it’s almost dinner.” Johnny grabs his cookie and leaves, happy. Mom goes back to her mail.

Crisis over, right? Or is it just the beginning?

What’s the Behavior in this Scenario?

In this scenario, what do you think the behavior is?

Is it:

• Stomping his feet?
• Telling Mom he wants a cookie after being told no?
• Yelling that he wants a cookie and throwing a tantrum after being told no twice?

The answer is all of the above! Kids often try different tactics to get what they want, and Johnny escalates his behavior until he gets the cookie.

Identifying the Function of the Behavior

It’s important to figure out why a behavior is happening. There are four main functions of behavior:

1. Attention seeking
2. Escape or avoidance
3. Tangible items
4. Automatic reinforcement (because it feels good)

If you want a more in-depth explanation of these four functions of behavior, check out this video.

In Johnny’s case, his behavior is driven by wanting a tangible item: the cookie. 

Figuring Out the Antecedent in the Scenario

What happened before Johnny’s behavior?

There can be multiple antecedents, so keeping track of each instance is super important. You’ll start to see patterns emerge.

In our example, a clear antecedent is that Johnny asked for a cookie. He wasn’t upset at first; he simply made a request. 

Another antecedent could be that Johnny was hungry since it was close to dinner time. Given the choice, most kids would pick a cookie over waiting for dinner!

The Consequence: Not Always What You Think

Most people think of a consequence as something negative, like a punishment such as:

• Loss of iPad time 
• Grounding
• No video games

However, in ABA, a consequence is anything that happens after a behavior. It’s not necessarily good or bad; it’s simply an action or reaction.

So, what was the consequence of Johnny’s behavior in our scenario?

• A. Get sent to his room?
• B. Get something taken away?
• C. Get scolded by his mom?
• D. Get a cookie?

The correct answer is D: Johnny got a cookie.

Consequences Shape Behavior

Here’s where it all comes together. Johnny’s consequence (getting the cookie) reinforced his behavior (tantrum).

Mom giving in, although she wanted the tantrum to stop, actually strengthened the likelihood of it happening again.

This is a critical point: what happens after a behavior directly influences whether that behavior will occur again.

Food for Thought: Questions for Parents

Think about these questions:

• Will Johnny use this behavior again?
• What’s the likelihood of him skipping the polite request next time and going straight to the tantrum? After all, that’s what worked before!
• What did Johnny learn in this scenario?
• How many of us allow similar situations to play out without realizing the lasting effects?

It happens to the best of us.

The scenario we just described has definitely happened in our home. You’re not alone! It’s part of the parenting journey.

What’s Next?

So, how do we overcome situations like the one with Johnny? That’s what we’ll cover next week. We’ll give you practical strategies you can use to turn things around.

Understanding the ABCs of behavior is the first step toward creating a more positive and peaceful home environment. By identifying antecedents, understanding behaviors, and carefully considering consequences, you can start to shape your child’s actions in a meaningful way. 

Remember, you’ve got this!

Additional Behavior Resources for Parents

• What is ABA or Applied Behavior Analysis?
• Understanding BIPs- Behavior Intervention Plan in Special Education
• Interesting Functions Of Behavior
• What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Children?
• Handle Behavior Issues At Home And School Like A Pro
• What is a FBA – Functional Behavior Assessment in Special Education
• Positive Behavior Interventions And Support (PBIS) What You Need to Know
• What Are Extinction Bursts and What To Do About Them?

If you’re looking for additional ways your child can get help with their education… We offer one-on-one special education tutoring that can be done from anywhere you are! Our special education experts conduct their sessions online!

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